The Nomadic Peoples of Puerto Nitions is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.806 billion Puerto Nitionsians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Public Transport, Education, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 11.7%.

The strong Puerto Nitionsian economy, worth 138 trillion takas a year, is led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 49,352 takas, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

Nudity is frowned upon, the secret service is working overtime to find anyone publishing unauthorized material about Leader, dogs are encouraged to confront the psychodynamic roots of their desire to be "good boys", and the mood of raunchy movies is often ruined by the sound of babies crying. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Puerto Nitions's national animal is the springbok, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Puerto Nitions is ranked 64,098^th in the world and 705^th in the Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 21.99 flags saluted per person per day.